THE IDEAL ISLAMIC METHOD OF CHILD UPBRINGING

Question: What is the ideal Islamic method for upbringing of small children in islam?

Answer:

The matter of child raising is in the hands of the father not the mother if he is of a sound mind and is religious, as the Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] has said:

' A man is a shepherd amongst the members of his household, and he is responsible for his flock.’

Based upon this, it is not allowed for the mother to intervene between the father and the raising of the children as is done by women. They intervene between him and his correcting of their manners and training. This is the prevention of a person from enacting his rights. It is upon the father to be a real man in his family,

a man who has values, such that would not heed to mere sentiments, rather he strives for that in which there is benefit. It can be that in considering sentimental emotions much good is lost concerning training and guidance. As for actual upbringing of the Children, about which the questioner asked, the wise one knows how to handle this. The Prophet [peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him] ordered his Ummah to order their children to perform the prayer at the age of seven and to spank them over it at ten.

This is the evidence that a child can handle spanking and it benefits him. During the early years, spanking is of no benefit to him so guidance is with soft desirable word. Whereas if they develop through the years until they reached the age specified by the Prophet {peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him], they are susceptible to discipline through spanking. It is necessary is such a situation that spanking be the last method resorted to that rectify the child, for if it is possible to correct the child without it, it is not turned to.

If discipline by spanking is required, the father is the one who delivers it in a non-violent and to an extent by which correction is achieved. A person does not suffice with having these measures and having followed the path of wisdom, rather he takes his most support from invocation of Allaah The Most Honorable and Majestic, and seeking of His help for the piety of his children. For if Allaah does not assist a person in his tasks, he returns with failure and loss.

And Allah is the one who gives success.

This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited

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