There is a belief that is common to many teens or youths of today. This belief is that we obey our parents because they are the cause of our coming to this world and also because we are repaying them for all they have done for us and what they continue to do for us: Thus we obey our parents we are repaying them for earlier kindness. This is . actually not the right and complete belief! It is true that we should repay the kindness of our parents; but do parents is the next most important thing after belief in Allah? Well if you did not know, then know now that Allah has made obedience to ones parents an obligation.
Allah mentions in the Quran: And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honor. And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say, "My Lord! Bestow on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young (Q17:23-24 From the above verses it can be seen that our obedience to our parents is also obedience to Allah, because He is the one who commands us to obey them.
In other words, obedience to the parents is part of the religion. Allah also indicates in the above verse that our parents have rights over us. This sounds strange because of the popular belief that the parents are the ones who are meant to be on the giving end, right? Wrong! This is because both the parents and the children have certain rights to fulfill to one another. The rights of the parents over their children (that is, things that a child must do for the parents) are: a) Respect b) Honour c) Humility d) Mercy There are different ways in order to achieve these rights of the parents, they are:
1.To always obey ones parents when they order, or prohibit you from doing something as long as it does not lead to disobeying Allaah,.or it is against the shariah. This is evident in the statement of Allah: "But if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with them in the world kindly."(Q31:15)
This verse shows that we must not disobey Allaah because we want to obey our parents. Once they order us to do something that is against the command of Allaah or His Prophet, then we should not obey them. Remember that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) Said: A creature is not to be obeyed when it involves disobedience to the Creator " (Tirmidhi). But this does not mean we should be rude or harsh to them when we refuse to obey them something that goes against Allahs command .we have to find a good approach of dealing with them without unnecessary bad behaviour.
2.To show them respect and honour, to be kind and gracious to them. This is to pay them back for their own kindness to us when we were so young. Once a man said, "My mother has reached old age. I serve her, give her food and drink, lodge her and clothe her. Would I have repaid her in full for her bringing me up? He was told "No!" You can never repay her right in full! The man asked why and he was told, "Because she had served you when you were young, wishing for you to live on, but you serve her now in her old age, wishing for her to pass away!"
3.To be dutiful as best as possible to them and to show them goodness. We should do this by trying to provide for them; clothe and feed them; care for them and protect them from harm when they are old and cannot take care of themselves as mentioned above.
4.0ne must show them love in order to strengthen the ties of kinship between parents and the children. When all these rights have been fulfilled the child has obeyed not only his parents but has obeyed Allah too.
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited