Disparity of expectations We often come to a situation where, between two brothers, each thinks he has done great favours to the other and received none in return. It is worse when we think that others owe us a lot and we owe them nothing. These propositions are unfounded. It in human nature to magnify what we give to others and minimize what we receive.
Our behaviour reflects the saying when I am right nobody remembers, when I am wrong nobody forgets: . If we truly want to find our balance of accounts with others, we should jot down on a piece of paper all of our debits and credits objectively. Our only criterion must be Islam; and in identifying the debits and credits, we should consult with people of knowledge.
If Islam has a specific ruling we should submit to it. For example, in deciding about inheritance, we should go according to the Shariah and not our own biases or emotions. There is a great wisdom in the Arabic When you are pleased with someone, you dont see his mistakes, and when you are displeased, you pronounce his mistakes Do not compare yourself to others! there is a saying that He watches people die of grief.
This is a cancer that can eat away your life. You concentrate on others and start wondering why do you not get their positions, salaries, riches, personalities, respect, health, family etc. You do not ask yourself: what have they done to deserve what they have? How much hard work they have put in? How many years of struggle they have gone through? You forget that rizq, sustenance, comes from Allaah alone and that he does what. He wills.
No one can question Allaah! Islam has taught us:
1. In worldly affairs, compare yourself with the poor, destitute, or handicapped and say Alhamdulillah, Allaah has given me more than I deserve.
2. In knowledge and piety, compare yourself with the great scholars and saints and strive hard to achieve more. Ask for Allaahs forgiveness. Remember that what you know about your shortcomings is a certainty.
What you think you know about others shortcomings is only a doubt: It is ridiculous to indulge in comparisons, because you dont know about others in much more than the little you do know! Do not be shocked if, after an objective analysis you discover that you are actually a liability to the organization while others are assets! .Before you ask what the organization is doing for you; examine what you are offering to it.
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited