There comes a time in the process of curing infertility when a couple decides that they have availed all options and they must move on with their lives. Many husbands see divorce and then remarriage as the only route to have children. Islamically though, there is an option that could be far more beneficial to himself and his wife.
The option of polygyny is one that is dreaded by many, but one that is permissible and in some cases encouraged in lslam. In the well-known case of Prophet Ibraheem (alayhi salaam), he and his wife (Sarah) were in old age and childless. Succour came only after he married another wife (Haajarah) who bore him Ismail (alayhi salaam); his first son and also a prophet of Allaah.
Thereafter, Allaah blessed him again with another son [and also a prophet], Ishaq (alayhi salaam); this time through Sarah after a period of over ten years [according to many commentators of the Quraan]. Who Benefits? The first wife, wives to follow, and any children from those wives! Oftentimes women who cannot conceive wish more than anything to rear a child or help in rearing a child." They often wish that for even a day they could take care of a child as their own.
This creates an ideal situation for everyone in the household. The first wife is happy to be able to get a chance to raise children. The second wife receives extra help from the first wife and this strengthens the bond and relationship between the wives. The children have the attention of "two mothers." This is not to say that this happy-go-lucky relationship exists in every polygynous household, but it could be a positive alternative for a situation of childlessness. What about the problems? Jealousy and its attendant consequences are common features amongst wives in a polygynous relationship. Infertile women often feel that they were not good enoug h for their husbands and this was the reason for their remarriage.
This may not be the case and the situation of every couple is different. However, husbands should take the feelings of the co-wives into account and make the change as painless as possible for them. Each couple knows how much they can take, and what options-are best for them.
May Allaah make it easy on everyone and relieve our hardships (Ameen).
"Our Lord! Punish us not if we forget or fall into error,our Lord! Lay not on us a burden like that which You did lay on those before us (Jews and Christians); our Lord! Put not on us a burden greater than we have strength to bear. Pardon us and grant us Forgiveness. Have mercy on us. You are our Maula (Patron, Supporter and Protector, etc.) and give us victory over the disbelieving people." (Q2[8aqarah]:286)
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited