Things No One Tells You About Marriage

Life is not a storybook and neither is marriage. As a Muslim, you should be smarter than the vision of boy meets girl both fall in love and they live forever happily which lurks in the subconscious of many young couple. In real life, lets face it, marriage is not for the faint of heart. You want to believe your pure love for each other will pull you through. And it will, insha AIlaah but it wont always be pretty.

1. You will look at the person lying next to you and wonder, Is this it? Forever? When you get married, you think that as long as you pick the right match, your soul mate, youll be happy together until death do you part. Then you wake up one day and realize that no matter how great he/she is, he/she doesnt make you happy every moment of every day. In fact, some days you might wonder why you were in such a hurry to get married in the first place. You think to yourself, This is so not what I gave myself up for! Actually, it is.

You just didnt realize it the day you and your spouse finally tied the nuptial chord. Your relationship mettle is, in fact, most tested on a daily basis, when the utter sameness of day-in/day-out togetherness can sometimes make you want to run for the hills. Thats when the disappointment sneaks in, and maybe even a palpable sense of loneliness and grief. Its not him. And its not her either. Its just you, letting go of that sugarcoated fantasy of marriage that danced in your eyes the day you and your beloved became husband and wife. Youre learning that marriage isnt a destination; its a journey filled with equal parts excitement and boredom.

2. Youll work harder than you ever imagined. Early on, when people say, "Marriage takes work," you assume "work" means being patient when he forgets to put down the toilet seat. In your naivete, you think that you will struggle to accommodate some annoying habit. If only it were that easy. Human beings, you.may have noticed, are not simple creatures. Your man has mysterious, unplumbed depths and from where he sits, youre pretty complicated, too. You have to learn each other the same way that you once learned earth science or world geography. And getting married doesnt mean youre done it just means youve advanced to graduate level studies.

That's because every time you think youve mastered the material, hell change a bit. And so will you. As two people grow and evolve, the real work of marriage is finding a way to relate to and nurture each other in the process. 3. Getting your way is usually not as important as finding a way to work together. When it comes to certain disagreements, there is no right or wrong there is simply your way of looking at things and your husbands.

The more you get to know and appreciate your husband for who he is, the more you respect his positions. That doesn't mean you always agree with him. But you can see the value in striking a balance that satisfies you both. And instead of harping on how wrong he is you can usually swallow the verbal vitriol and simply say something like. "I see your point" or "I hadn't considered that." After you sincerely acknowledge his view. it seems to become easier for him to hear yours.

This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited

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