Kind and Proper Treatment
"...And consort with your wives in a goodly manner for if you dislike them it may well be that you dislike something which Allah makes a source of abundant good." (Q4[Nisaa): 19)
Commenting on this verse, Ibn Katheer (RAH) wrote: "That is, have kind speech for them, deal with them with kind deeds and in a beautiful manner to the best of your ability. In the way that you love that from them, behave in that way towards them. As Allaah has said:
"They have rights similar to those upon them according to what is right" (Q2[Baqarah]:228).
The Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaiyhi wa sallam) said:
"The best of you is the best of you to his wives and I am the best of you to my wife."
It was from his behaviour that he would treat them in a beautiful fashion, with a smiling face. He would sport with his wives, be gentle with them and spend generously upon them. He would laugh with his wives and he even raced Aisha.
Every night, he would gather his wives together in the house of the one with whom he (sallallahu alaiyhi wa sallam) was going to spend the night and eat dinner with them on occasion. After he prayed the night prayer, he would enter his house and talk to his wife a little bit before sleeping, making them comforted thereby. And Allaah says:
“You have in the Messenger of Allah the best example." (Q33[Ahzab]:21)
Part of the problem is Muslims buying into the fantasy world being propagated in television, movies and other media. The hadeeth about the rib makes it clear that it is rare to find a "perfect wife" and in the same manner, no woman should expect to find the "perfect husband". If one is living in some fantasy world, they are apt to be greatly disappointed with real life.
In Sahih Ibn Hibban, the following was narrated:
"The wife of 'Uthman ibn Madh'oon complained to the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaiyhi wa sallam) that her husband had no need for women. During the days he would fast and at night he would pray. The Prophet (sallallahu alaiyhi was sallam) asked him: "Am I not the best example for you to follow?" He answered: "Certainly, may my father and mother be sacrificed for you." The Prophet (sallallahu alaiyhi wassallam) then told him: "As for you, you pray during the night and you fast during the day. Certainly your wife has a right upon you and your body has a right upon you so pray and sleep and fast and break your fast."
There are several similar incidents narrated where Companions of the Prophet (sallallahu alaiyhi wa sallam) gave similar decisions in similar situations. In one story which took place in the presence of Umar, the Companion who was judging told the husband that since Allaah had given him the right to four wives and he had only one that he could practice his praying and fasting three out of four nights, but that at least one in four had to be reserved for his wife.
To be continued insha Allaah
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited