“And we said: O Adam! Dwell you and your wife in the paradise and eat both of you freely with pleasure and delight, of things therein whenever you will, but come not near this tree or you both will be of the Dhaalimeen (wrongdoers).” (Q2 [Al-Baqarah]: 35)
Ibn Kathir (RAH) explained in his book of Tafseer; “then Adam fell asleep, as the people of the book and other scholars such as ibn ‘Abbas have stated, Allaah took one of Adam’s left ribs and made flesh grow in its place, while Adam was asleep and unaware Allaah then created Adam’s wife, Hawaa, from his rib and made her a woman so that she could be a comfort for him. When Adam woke up and saw Hawaa next to him, it was claimed, he said, “My flesh and blood, my wife.” Hence, Adam reclined with Hawaa. When Allaah married Adam to Hawaa and gave him comfort, Allaah said to him directly:
“O Adam! Dwell you and your wife in the paradise and…” (Q2 [Al-Baqarah]: 35)
It is evident that Allaah wishes for us companionship and not to live alone. Think about Adam; after he has distinguished himself with knowledge before the angels and disgraced Iblees, Allaah did not enter him into Al-Jannah until he created a mate for him to marry. Hence, they were addressed as “you and your wife”. The need for companionship is even more acute for women. Unlike Adam who had an eventful life before he had a spouse. Hawaa was created into companionship. No one-man or woman-would cherish a life of loneliness, except those who have psychological disorders!
Islaam sets two important social goals in marriages. The first is the eradication of single people of marriageable age by facilitating marriages and the second is the setting up of a social environment where all relations between men and women outside of marriage can be completely eliminated. Allaah says:
“marry the single among you and the pious among your male slaves and your female slaves.” (Q24 [An-Nur]: 32),
this is by way of achieving the first goal. Then, Islaam prescribes strict punishment for fornication or adultery in order to achieve the second goal.
Does this mean that once we are married we will never be alone again? No! There are two states that throw us back to the undesirable states of loneliness divorce and death. Obviously, we make mistakes in both the minor or major decision. When mistakes have been made in marriage, then Islaam does not imprison spouses in a marriage which is not satisfying mentally, physically or spiritually. Otherwise, either or both spouses may cave in to pressure and commit the dreadful sin of Zina. Hence, Allaah has permitted divorce so that the couple can put an end to their misery.
A divorce simply means that one or both parties to a marriage are unsuitable to each other. It could also mean that one or both spouses made an error in the decision to marry each other. It does not necessarily mean that one or both parties are unsuitable for the marriage institution nor is it a mistake for which either party must wring their hands forever in regret. Divorce should not be “ugly”. When it becomes necessary, divorce should be done with consideration, dignity and kindness. Why marriages break down, how to divorce and what the divorcee should do are the issues that we examine in this edition.
This article was culled from the publications of Deen Communication Limited